


The new chief lightswitch

by auntylala



Series: SPN SGA cross over [1]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:48:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28541307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auntylala/pseuds/auntylala
Summary: SPN/SGA crossover where Dean is a marine and happens to have the ATA gene and finds himself recruited to the stargate team.  AU with bits of cannon as suits me.  There are no supernatural/demonic elements and this is an AU fiction.  It's a bit of a what if Dean had grown up in a non supernatural universe and joined the Marines but had the ATA gene.
Series: SPN SGA cross over [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196393
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	1. Getting to Atlantis

**Author's Note:**

> I have played with the timings and ignored cannon deaths if they didn't suit me (including Carson). This is an AU. 
> 
> Charlie ended up being taken in by Karen and Bobby who never had kids of their own. Karen wasn't possessed by a demon so Bobby never had to kill her. Mary never met yellow eyes so is still alive as are her parents and John never turned into a hunter. 
> 
> In this universe there was never any DADT and same sex relationships are not as scary for the folk out there who are challenged by the idea. 
> 
> Please note, I'm a Kiwi, I have googled my questions but any mistakes are unintentional and my own. My knowledge of the Marines comes from watching the telly and google, no offense is intended and this is a work of fiction with aliens in it so anything goes really.

Dean humming Ramble On was enjoying the late summer warmth as he tinkered under the hood of a jeep. He loved being back in the States, living on base while getting to play in the motor pool with no one trying to shoot him. His mom’s apple pie only a short drive away and his little brother married to Jess and living a white picket fenced American dream in sunny California. He should have known it wouldn’t last.

‘Winchester!’

He winced as he recognised his commanding officer’s voice screaming his name. Followed by heavy footsteps as the man stalked towards him.  
‘What in the hell have you done now?’

Backing slowly so he didn’t bang his head on the hood of his second favourite jeep, he tried to think of anything that could have put that tone into the man’s voice. ‘Nothing Sir.’ Right now he was seriously considering volunteering for an overseas posting, last time he had a CO that mad at him had been because of an unfortunate chain of practical jokes. One that had ended in a bucket of glittery slime being upended over said CO during a surprise barracks inspection. It hadn’t ended well.

‘Maybe I should have asked who.’ The grizzled marine muttered as he looked the captain up and down. ‘If you haven’t done anything, Winchester. Then why in the hell is a god damned full bird general in air force dress blues complete with enough chest candy to start a craft store, on My Marine Base. With his pet colonel, sitting in My Office and asking for a private meeting with My Mechanic.’  
‘Um, because I’m adorable. Sir.’ Dean grinned as he fell in beside his CO. ‘Is it Cadwell? The pet colonel sir.’  
‘Yeah, that might have been what he said.’  
‘He’s my cousin, maybe he wanted to drop me a pie. Well, technically he’s my mom’s cousin so he’s my second cousin and. You, don’t care.’

‘That would be very perceptive of you Winchester.’ Colonel Jonas Smith resisted the urge to face palm at the younger marines words. ‘You know what Winchester. I’ve decided that I don’t care how good you are at tuning a jeep, if they ask for you I am going to gift wrap you myself.’ He held the door of the administration building open.  
‘Why would they ask for me?’  
‘Damned if I know son but the top brass are scooping up individuals across all the armed forces. Even if they want the best and brightest they can have you too.’  
‘You think they want me?’  
‘They have collected a few fuck up’s along the way so damned if I know what they want you for but there is always some top secret crap going on over at the mountain, and frankly they can have you.’  
‘Oh shucks sir, I didn’t know you cared.’  
‘Oh for, I don’t, so get in there and for all our sakes, if they ask just say yes.’  
‘I’m not sure I want to come across as easy.’  
‘Be the first time that ever happened.’ He wasn’t going to miss Winchester, although he would have to find a new mechanic and the kid did have a knack for keeping cool under fire that he might miss.

\----------------

General Jack O’Neill leaned back in the borrowed chair behind the marine colonel’s desk. ‘This cousin of yours likely to say yes? I mean, he’s a marine.’  
‘Sir?’  
‘I’ve seen his college transcript, this guy should be building spaceships not running PT drills and fixing jeeps.’  
Lieutenant Colonel Stephen Cadwell shrugged. ‘The Corps paid for college and Winchesters seem to like being marines.’  
‘He’s your cousin.’ Not sure what to make of the tortured look on Cadwells face. ‘What?’  
‘Permission to speak freely.’   
A waved hand was taken as consent.  
‘The boy is an irreverent trouble magnet with the morals of an alley cat.’  
‘With one hell of a jacket.’  
‘Oh he’s good in a tight spot but I have no idea how he managed to get half his commendations and I don’t think he met a skirt he didn’t chase. And.’ Cadwell sighed once more. ‘He hates to fly.’

Jack was still laughing when a knock on the borrowed door announced he was about to form his own impression. Straightening up he called out and waited.

Dean kept his poker face in play as he followed his quietly fuming CO into his own office and watched Smith just as quickly fume back out. He nodded politely to his cousin and the general and waited.  
‘Oh at ease Winchester, why don’t you two chat while I.’ Patting pockets he pulled something the size of a box of matches out and set it on the table.

Cadwell resisted the urge to roll his eyes. ‘Dean.’  
‘Should I be worried, what with you venturing into jar head turf with a full bird.’  
‘Hows the family. I hear Sam is doing well.’  
‘Dude, you were there for the wedding.’

Jack looked up with a grin as he pushed a button inside the box. ‘Yeah well, enough chit chat kids, lets get down to business. Winchester we want your genes.’  
Dean clapped his cousin on the shoulder. ‘You bagged a general, congrats but I’m not a girl. Just because I’m pretty.’  
This time Cadwell did roll his eyes and hunched in on himself as Jack laughed.  
‘Oh I like him, he’s going to drive them crazy.’  
‘He’s been known to have that effect.’

A stack of paper was placed on the desk and General O’Neill held a pen out. ‘I need you to read this and sign, then I can tell you all about a job your country needs you for.’  
Stepping up Dean leafed though the first pages and looked at his cousin. ‘Do I gotta call Sammy or JAG and ask for a lawyer?’  
‘No, it’s real.’  
‘Yeah, that’s what worries me.’ And he started to read.

Signing the last page Dean sat back and tossed the pen onto the desk. ‘What’s so top secret about my fantastic genetics that necessitated that monstrosity of dead trees?’  
‘Catch.’  
Dean caught the rock as he silently formed a few opinions on how nuts the air force and it’s generals were. Dropping the glowing rock as it heated up in his hand.  
‘And we have a winner.’  
‘Does it come with a house in the Hamptons?’  
‘Not quite but I can promise you it’s on the ocean.’ Jack grinned and began to tell Dean a story.

\------------------

‘So let me get this straight. Because of a genetic fluke where I can make your pet rock light up and get all warm and tingly. You want me to relocate my entire life to another galaxy where they live on a floating city and battle space vampires.’  
‘It got warm, hot damn.’ Jack grinned. ‘That means you probably have the strongest presentation of the ATA yet.’  
Dean glanced at his cousin. ‘Sammy? Am I going to have to be worried you are going to turn up on his doorstep with a pet rock too?’  
‘Doesn’t have the gene.’  
Jack watched the marine visibly relax and shrug.

‘What’s the cover story? I’ve got a large extended family that likes to spend the holidays together and I haven’t really ever been able to lie to my mom. I can’t tell you how many times that’s gotten me in trouble.’  
‘We are exploring some ideas, including reading one or two of them into the program to help with that. It was suggested by the colonel here that they wouldn’t be inclined to buy the overseas posting to a top secret base with lousy postal support story.’  
‘Why do I get the feeling you aren’t just talking about me.’  
Cadwell huffed. ‘Deep Space Telemetry.’  
‘Charlie?’ Dean shot to his feet. ‘You telling me she’s in this Pegasus galaxy Atlantis place? You are so done if anything happens to her.’

Jack perked up. ‘Really?’ This was almost as entertaining as getting Danny out of trouble back in the good old days when it was just him, an astrophysicist, an alien and the archaeologist exploring the galaxy. There were days when if it hadn’t been for his knees he’d miss the fact that he could just shoot the bad guy when they pissed him off. Now he had to be nice and political.

Dean ignored him. ‘Bobby will bury what’s left of you so deep the devil wont find you. Steve.’  
‘She’s not in Pegasus Dean and I’m aware of Singer’s often vented comments along those lines.’  
‘Yet.’ Jack tossed in, enjoying the show. ‘She also suggested we pick up a Doctor Badass.’  
‘Ash?’ Dean looked at his cousin who gave a resigned sigh and nodded.  
‘Oh no way, someone needs to save the city from those two if they join forces.’  
‘About that, he hasn’t exactly finished anything even remotely resembling a doctorate.’ Jack started.  
Dean shook his head. ‘Only because he’s too smart that he gets bored and likes to get stoned, and sleep on a pool table. But he’s good and he’ll love the whole alien thing.’  
‘There are so many problems with that.’ Jack shook his head. ‘So are you in?’  
‘When do I ship out.’

\--------------------------------------

‘Jesus Charlie. Are you sure about this?’ Dean threw himself onto the sofa in her tiny apartment. The reality starting to settle in and make him wonder if this was a good idea after all.  
‘Oh come on Dean. It’s a little late for buyers remorse.’ Flashing him the live long and prosper Vulcan salute. ‘And like you have to ask.’  
‘Two words Charles. Space. Vampires.’  
‘Pft, that’s what I have you for.’  
‘God save us from sci-fi geeks.’ Ducking as a pillow flew at him.  
‘You love it and don’t even try and say otherwise, Handmaiden.’  
He blushed. ‘Ah shut up.’  
‘It’s so exciting and you have the gene. I’m not afraid to admit I’m a little jealous.’  
‘Aren’t you getting the plastic one?’  
‘Monday, hopefully it works.’  
‘Goodie.’  
‘Anyway, we only have about three weeks to sort out everything we’ll need to take with us.’  
‘And Ash?’  
‘Failed the drug screening, big surprise I know. But he is helping me with code to compress even more movies and TV shows onto an external hard drive.’  
‘That’s one thing to cross of the list but what about pie? How am I gonna get pie there.’  
She patted his shoulder. ‘I’m sure you will figure something out.’  
‘You know your problem Red, you are just too damn optimistic.’  
‘I know. And tomorrow you get to come to work with me under the mountain.’   
Dean sighed as he watched her bouncing and wondered if there was ever going to be a way to contain her enthusiasm.

Getting into the famed Mountain turned out to be the easy part as Dean read the duty roster handed to him by an Air Force Major, and groaned.   
‘You want me to make sure the geeks can shoot.’  
‘General Jack O’Neill does, you know who is he right.’  
‘I know who he is Major.’  
‘Then I don’t need to point out that there is no point fighting this. His number one rule is protect your geeks.’  
‘And I have to be the one to teach them.’  
‘I have seen your proficiency reports Winchester and you were an acting training officer in your last posting.’   
‘I’m a mechanic. I fix things and they were baby marines, not nerds and geeks who don’t know which end is the pointy one.’  
‘Then you will be fine because you have to be.’  
‘Yes Sir.’  
‘Just, don’t let any of them shoot their toes off.’  
‘I read the report.’  
‘And that is why you got the job.’  
Dean watched the smiling Major walk away and kept his zoomie comment in check as he headed for the shooting range to find his wayward geeks. He knew he should probably try and remember the man’s name but they were shipping out in a few weeks so he wasn’t sure there was much point. And since when did the Marines and the Air Force get so darn cosy anyway. 

He strode into the gun range and clapped his hands together startling the cluster of science types and Charlie. ‘Alright Princesses who has fired a real gun before?’  
Three pairs of eyes grew bigger as Charlie bounced up and down with her hand raised in the air.  
‘Oh me, me. I know how.’  
‘Geeze Charlie, this isn’t potions class at Hogworts.’  
‘We are in a giant dungeon.’  
‘Yeah I’m trying not to focus on that.’ He shook his head before turning to the remainder of their little group. ‘So other than my annoyingly chipper cousin here, have any of you used a gun?’  
‘I am a pacifist.’  
Dean tried not to wince at how the man’s voice managed to sound both supercilious and nasal at the same time. Looking the scientist up and down the guy was barely the same height as Charlie and wore thick glasses. ‘You do know where they’re planning to send us all, right.’  
‘Of course.’  
‘Good. Then this’ll come in handy.’ He picked a gun up. ‘This is a gun. It’s called a P90 and it is standard SGC issue and you will learn how to use one.’

Charlie set her tray down next to Dean’s and handed him her pie. ‘I thought that went well.’  
He resisted waving his strapped wrist at her and ate her pie instead. It had been going well, to start with. Teaching Charlie and three assorted scientists how to use the P90. Until Doctor Peter Young decided his pacifist principals were capable of compromise after all. Ignoring the fact that Charlie could already use a gun he had declared that if a computer nerd could shoot that easily, an astrophysicist of his caliber certainly could too.

It might have gone better if he hadn’t closed his eyes while pulling the trigger after switching the P90 from single to cyclical shooting despite being told not to. And if he hadn’t screamed and dropped the gun as it fired.

Dean had been helping the Swedish biochemist, Sven with his stance at the time and it was his battle hardened reflexes pushing 180 pounds of scientist to the ground. Diving out of the way that saw him as the only casualty with a sprained wrist. And now Charlie had switched into hover mode.

Sven took the seat opposite Dean and they were joined by his wife Gretchen. She was a botanist who had started out as a medical doctor before switching to herbal pharmacology. She smiled as she placed her own tray on the table. ‘I do not think Doctor Young will be joining us.’  
Dean looked up at her soft tone and shook his head. ‘I got that impression.’ He grinned as more pie was pushed across the table towards him.  
‘I think I should also thank you for saving us.’  
With a mouthful of pie he shook his head. ‘Just doing my job.’  
‘I meant you were saving us from this awful American pastry.’   
‘It is not like I am used to.’ Sven agreed as his pie was also passed across the table.  
Pointing his fork at Sven Dean grinned. ‘I like you.’  
Charlie sighed. ‘Ignore him, they must have given him stronger painkillers in the infirmary than I realised.’  
Dean shrugged. ‘What do I care, I have pie.’

Charlie rolled her eyes and focused on Gretchen. ‘You are a doctor and a botanist?’  
‘Technically but I never practiced medicine, once I completed my studies I realised I preferred plants to people. The IOA felt it would be beneficial to have me study the medicinal plants of the Pegasus Galaxy to see how that would help the team on Atlantis and people back here on Earth. I also want to see what effect the different soils have on the medicinal properties of a number of plants from both galaxies.’   
‘And you, Sven?’  
‘I am a biochemist so I am here to assist my wife, she’s the brilliant one.’ He grinned. ‘I am her plus one, I think you call it.’  
‘Nope, we are all parts of the whole.’ Charlie grinned back at him.  
‘And I understand you quite are the computer whiz.’   
‘If it has circuitry I can make it sing and I am looking forward to getting out there.’  
‘We have to make sure you survive the basic training first.’ Dean muttered.  
‘At least no one shot their toe off.’  
‘Not helping Charles.’

Gretchen laughed. ‘The two of you remind me of my brother and sister. I think I will enjoy your company very much when I am missing them.’  
Charlie grinned and stage whispered to Dean. ‘She called you childish.’  
His response was a shrug. ‘Like I care, she gave me her pie.’

Major Wilson approached the small group. ‘Winchester I see most of your charges survived.’  
‘I’d stand Sir but they gave me the good stuff.’  
Charlie nodded. ‘It makes him a touch loopy.’  
‘Apparently.’ He indicated the strapped wrist. ‘Nothing broken I trust.’  
‘Just sprained Sir.’  
‘Hmm, Doctor Young was most distressed by all accounts and wont be joining you on Atlantis. He asked to be returned to Area 51.’  
‘Is this the part where I say I’m sorry.’  
‘Not particularly.’ Was called over his shoulder as he walked away.  
Charlie looked at Dean who shrugged and waved a fork at her.  
‘Pie.’  
‘Is not the meaning of life Dean.’  
‘It is to me Charles.’

\-------

‘So.’ Charlie bounced on Dean’s bed as he folded clothes. ‘The skinny is that we should bring chocolate and coffee and entertainment for trade.’  
‘The skinny?’  
‘According to scuttlebutt then. Scientists gossip and apparently those things are gold even with regular supply runs by the Daedalus and the midway gate.’  
‘You’ve got that supped up drive thing you worked with Ash to put together.’  
‘Ah ha, and I have taken the liberty of ordering a ton of stuff from Amazon to cover the coffee and chocolate situation. Well, not literally a ton because there are weight limits to what we can bring.’  
‘You want me to give you some of my crate space.’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Do I have a choice.’  
‘No.’  
‘You are lucky I like you.’  
‘You’re a guy, and you wear a uniform so how many plaid shirts do you really need anyway.’  
‘Maybe I wanted to stock up on hair products and lube.’  
‘Oh, hair stuff, that’s brilliant.’ She leapt off the bed and scrambled for her laptop. ‘I’ll need to place an express delivery request. And I wonder if they have bulk bath bombs, I’m sure I saw baths on the schematics I was looking at the other day.’ She muttered to herself as she fired up Amazon’s website.  
‘And who’s credit card are we using this week?’  
‘Dick Roman.’ She smiled. ‘His lack of ethics and social responsibility is deplorable Dean.’  
‘I’m gonna pretend I didn’t ask.’  
‘Probably wise.’

\----------

He had only been under the mountain three weeks and Dean was already sure he would never get used to the constant physicals. This was supposed to be the last one before shipping out.

‘I enjoy watching Doctor Sexy same as the next guy, but this starting to loose it’s charm.’  
Doctor Caroline Lam smiled. ‘Welcome to SGC Captain. I have a feeling you are going to get very used to the infirmary, that and we like to check you out after every trip off world.’  
‘This aint the getting checked out I am used to.’ He muttered looking around. ‘And I can’t have a game boy because?’  
She patted his shoulder. ‘You aren’t a 12 year old boy and you would never leave if I let you have all the good toys. Now I just need to insert your birth control implant since you didn’t get one during your first physical here at the mountain.’  
‘Oh hell no. Why do I need that?’  
‘Because it is SOP for all gene carriers going to Atlantis.’  
‘I’m not a girl.’  
‘No, you aren’t. I would have noticed that, I am a Doctor.’ She showed him his chart. ‘And even if I wasn’t, it’s written right here. Captain Winchester. Male. The army is good like that and you are getting the implant.’  
‘Because it will regulate my womanly cycle?’  
‘No, because you have the ATA gene and there are a lot of women in Pegasus who like that in a man.’  
‘It’s not just my perky nipples they want is it.’

That stopped her for a moment before she shook her head. ‘Jack said you’d drive them crazy.’ Placing a loaded syringe on the tray she continued. ‘While I am sure that is an attractive feature of yours, the fact is, you are fresh meat. Cat nip for want of a better word, to folk in Pegasus who want the ATA gene in their offspring. And Uncle Sam takes a dim view of that.’  
‘He’s not the only uncle Sam. And I can’t imagine my mother being all too thrilled to have grandchildren who are classified either.’ He gave her a level stare. ‘Is this going to have any long term effects?’  
She shook her head. ‘Nope little Dean will work fine, just shooting blanks.’  
‘Not so much of the little, there doc. A man has his pride you know.’  
She swabbed his arm and picked the needle up. ‘So you don’t want any jokes about one little prick then.’  
‘Not so much. Ow.’ He tried not to jump. ‘Your bedside manner could use work, I’m free for dinner if you want to brush up.’  
‘For that you get the pink butterfly plaster Captain.’  
‘Is that a yes or a no?’  
‘You are still advised to use condoms, but the implant is 98 per cent effective.’  
‘How long does it last?’  
‘About twelve months earth time and it will breakdown so when you meet a nice girl you want to introduce to your mother you will still be able to have little Winchesters. We just don’t want you doing that in Pegasus.’  
‘No green eyed ATA Pegasus babies with perky nipples, got it.’  
Caroline watched him walk away and tried not to laugh before putting his file on the desk and reaching for the next one.

\---------------------------

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was not by nature, a particularly suspicious man. Sometimes. But McKay was just too damn happy. And in his experience that was something no good could come from as he watched the man from his slouched position against a conveniently located wall. ‘McKay.’  
‘Yes?’  
‘Why are you happy?’  
‘What, no I’m not.’  
‘Have you been into Carson’s stash of uppers?’  
‘Don’t be an imbecile, that’s beneath even you.’  
‘You are excited about something. We haven’t run out of coffee so what is going on.’ He watched as icy blue eyes turned towards him.  
‘I might be pleased at the impending arrival of a decent computer programmer and the mechanic. Even if he is a muscle bound idiot marine who probably can’t count past ten if he’s wearing shoes.’

Reaching for a data pad Sheppard pulled up the details of their impending arrivals and let realisation soothe him. ‘You mean the marine with the ATA expression stronger than mine.’  
‘You aren’t upset about that are you?’ Rodney peered at Sheppard and frowned. ‘Because we both know I’m not good at that social, nice, relating to people, thing that Teyla is so good at.’  
Sheppard waved his hands and shook his head. ‘Oh hell no. He can be the new chief light switch for all I care. I’ll even make him a badge.’  
‘Being a mechanical and combat engineer he can fix the waste units instead of my scientists.’  
‘Always a silver lining with you McKay.’  
‘That.’ He stood a little straighter. ‘And I have finally snagged Bradbury from those idiots under the mountain. They had no idea of how much potential they were wasting.’  
Sheppard nodded, there it was, the self satisfied smugness of Doctor M. Rodney McKay, PHD, PHD, getting one over the mountain. And by default, Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter. 

‘We have an incoming wormhole activation from the midway point.’ Chuck called.  
Sheppard looked to Woosley who nodded.   
‘Go ahead and lower the shield.’  
‘Stand by to receive.’

Looking around the midway point Dean grinned. ‘Alright princesses, time to hike up your petticoats and run like it’s two for one night at a titty bar.’  
‘Classy Winchester.’  
‘You love me Charles.’  
‘Only on Sundays.’ Throwing her pack on and picking up her duffle she grinned.  
The wormhole activated in a woosh of pooling blue that rushed out to greet them.


	2. Welcome to Atlantis

‘I am Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, the military commander of Atlantis. This is Mr Richard Woolsey the expedition’s civilian authority. Welcome to Atlantis.’ He grinned and paused for half a beat. ‘Oh, and that is Doctor McKay, he’s the science head.’  
‘Thank you Sheppard.’  
‘Yeah, he’s Canadian but he’ll grow on you. Once you have been cleared by medical you can take your stuff to your quarters and get comfy.’ He reached out and snagged McKay. ‘You can wait until they’ve finished the intake process then you get your new toys.’ He turned and watched as six foot of muscle with short dark blonde hair cut to marine perfection took in his surroundings and began barking commands.

The marines with them helping the scientists with duffels and packing crates were pushed to the side for processing. The lack of any apparent need to ask directions told Sheppard either Captain Winchester had memorised the layout ahead of his arrival, or the city herself was giving him directions. It was going to be interesting to see how she reacted to the young man with his ATA gene and pretty green eyes.

\------------

Dean dropped Charlie’s duffel bag gently onto her bed. ‘That nurse was so checking you out.’  
She grinned. ‘I know right. It’s good to be the Queen.’  
‘You aint in Moondoor any more.’  
‘We aren’t in Kansas either and when has that ever stopped you.’  
Dean shrugged as he looked around her quarters. The size was comparable to her apartment in Colorado, set out like a studio with a small kitchen area and living space that ended in a wall with a door to a bedroom and bathroom.  
‘A bit of furniture, few posters and some plants and it will be great.’  
‘Plants?’  
‘You’re right, nix the plants idea. Where are you?’  
‘Next floor up, they like to corral the grunts and jar heads together and keep us away from the delicate sensibilities of you science types.’  
‘Pft, hardly. Come on then I wana see.’  
‘Not what you said when we were kids.’ He teased.  
‘Whatever Winchester, we both know you aren’t packing what I’m picking.’

‘Huh.’ Dean looked at his Atlantis issue tablet when it pinged.   
‘Is that a half price at Games Hut huh, or an I dropped my pie huh?’  
‘It’s a, my room got reassigned huh. Looks like I’m your new neighbour, apparently.’  
‘Cool. Sven and Gretchen are just down the hall too. It’ll be like back at the mountain.’  
‘Life is a giant slumber party for you Charles.’  
‘What can I say. I am beloved of the gods.’ She followed him into his newly assigned quarters and looked around. ‘Although not as beloved as you apparently. I think I need a word with the cruise director.’

Dean agreed. It was a similar lay out to Charlie’s but on a larger scale and with more furniture. The kitchen was full sized with an actual table, the seats were long benches and held an aura of having been untouched for some time. But they looked serviceable. There was even a pile of large floor cushions in the central lounge area and out the windows he saw a balcony that extended presumably towards his bedroom.

‘Well I guess we all know who’s going to be hosting games night.’ She said with a slap to his arm. ‘We just need the Daedalus to get here with the television I ordered.’  
‘You ordered a TV?’  
‘What? It’s a flat screen so it didn’t take up much space and you will thank me when it gets here.’  
‘Ah ha.’ He kept moving, looking for his bed. ‘Oh my.’  
‘We are so not in Kansas Toto.’ She agreed as she looked from the bedroom to the bathroom. There was a large bed and an area in front of the balcony piled with more giant cushions and through a walk in wardrobe was the bathroom. ‘This is bigger than my loft state side.’  
‘That bath is bigger than my old room.’  
She smacked his arm several times. ‘Why do you get the indoor pool with sea views.’  
A voice behind them had her spinning around.   
‘That is a question I would like an answer for too.’

Charlie turned to find her new boss standing with arms folded across his chest. She couldn’t decide if the look he was giving off was his resting bitch face, or if he was constipated.  
‘Did you do this Bradbury?’  
‘Oh hell no or this would be my new pad. I mean did you see that bath? I could have a pool party in that thing.’  
‘Not an unconvincing argument granted, but this wasn’t your boyfriend’s assigned quarters.’  
She pointed to the rainbow pin on her lapel. ‘I fly a different flag Doctor McKay.’  
‘That and she’s like my annoying little sister.’ Dean added.

Appearing behind McKay and giving a low whistle was Sheppard. ‘Wow. She likes you.’ Giving the wall an affectionate pat. ‘I’m not even sure I saw this room on the schematics we found for this tower. McKay?’  
Pulling up the details on his ever present data pad the Canadian shook his head. ‘It’s always been here but it was just showing up as empty space.’ He looked up at Sheppard. ‘You can not be suggesting that Atlantis changed the room assignment.’  
‘I try to tell you she talks to me and you keep assuming I’ve been hit in the head.’  
‘To be fair, that does happen rather a lot.’  
‘Not as often as you’d think and Winchester has a stronger ATA than me so I’m sure he knows what I mean.’  
All eyes were on Dean who sighed.  
‘I can feel something trying to talk to me but it’s more like a knowing than actual words.’  
‘Just let it happen, if you fight it you’ll just wind up in the infirmary with a migraine.’

There was a chime followed by the voices of Sven and Gretchen calling out hellos. Charlie grinned and called back to direct them to the bathroom.  
‘You guys have to see the room the city gave Dean for a welcome present.’  
‘It is most impressive.’ Gretchen agreed as she pushed past the two men in the door.   
‘Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay.’ Sven nodded politely.  
Charlie was exploring the bathroom with Gretchen. ‘What is your room like?’  
‘Nothing as impressive as this but we do have a bath big enough for two.’

Dean shook his head as he followed his new commanding officer into the main living area of his quarters. ‘Oh hay, my crate is here.’ He looked up. ‘So um, is this going to get weird.’  
McKay scowled but was cut off by Sheppard.  
‘Probably so don’t brag too much, oh hay, have you flown a puddle jumper yet? I know they have one in Cheyenne.’  
Dean blanched. ‘I don’t really like to fly.’  
McKay rolled his eyes. ‘Jar head, not zoomie, Sheppard even I know that.’  
‘Eh, I’m not holding that against him. Tomorrow you and I have an appointment in jumper bay one. 0900 hours.’  
Dean gave a resigned sigh. ‘Yes Sir.’  
‘Good, now I suggest you get unpacked and I think tonight it’s not-meat loaf in the mess.’  
‘That’s not, not-meat as in tofu is it?’  
McKay snorted. ‘Hardly. It’s some Pegasus native cattle animal that is sort of like pork crossed with beef.’  
‘Is the bacon real?’  
Sheppard shrugged. ‘It’s alright.’  
McKay shook his head. ‘You have low standards so everything is alright.’   
Dean watched as the chief science officer gave them a bah humbug before he stalked off.

‘He’s a loveable fluff isn’t he.’  
‘Yeah but he saves our arses often enough that we forgive him for it. If you doubt that, he will tell you all about it and his PHD’s. That’s plural. And how he is the smartest man in two galaxies. In excruciating detail.’  
‘You said he was Canadian.’  
‘They can’t all be nice Winchester.’

Charlie looked around Dean’s quarters. ‘You know, if we knocked a door in that wall we could join our places together and it would be awesome.’  
‘I’m not swapping bathrooms Charles.’  
‘I am practically giving you my TV.’  
‘If it turns up and you didn’t exactly pay for it did you.’  
‘We agreed not to ask stupid questions Dean.’  
‘Whatever, come on, lets find the mess, I’m hungry.’  
He pulled her to her feet and shoved her into the hallway. ‘And no doors into mine young lady or I am telling Karen on you.’  
‘Please, that didn’t work when I was twelve.’

They bickered back and forth until they reached the mess and Dean saw a familiar face.  
‘No way. Lafitte, you old dog.’  
Scooped up by a big bear of a man Dean thumped his back.  
‘Dude, don’t damage the goods.’  
‘It’s good to see you brother, but why am I seeing you.’  
‘You thought I’d let you have all the fun? Hell no, not since I made a rock light up like a Vegas show girl.’  
‘So you’re the captain with the gene they sent us.’  
‘Apparently, but how did you end up out here.’  
‘Ah cher, it’s a long story.’  
‘You’re Cajun, it’s always a long story.’  
Benny grabbed a mess tray and grinned as Dean and Charlie followed suit.

Charlie leaned around Dean and looked from the food on offer to Benny. ‘Um, what’s good?’  
‘Try a little of everything and you’ll find what you like. Of course if I had a proper kitchen I could make you a gumbo that would make angels cry.’  
‘Dean’s got one.’ She said, scooping purple carrot looking things onto her tray.  
‘Are you pimping my pad out.’  
‘Games night Dean.’  
‘Oh.’

Sitting at an empty table he noticed the absence of a gold band on his friends left hand. ‘So I’m guessing that’s part of the story.’  
‘That it is cher. You will recall we first met as guests of the Taliban in Camp Purgatory.’  
‘Yeah, their facilities never quite lived up to the brochure.’  
‘That’s the truth. When I got home, it wasn’t easy coming home, you know. And it didn’t take long before Andrea decided she needed to move on with her life.’ He pushed the not-meat loaf around his tray. ‘Divorce papers where not the welcome home I was hoping for.’  
‘That sucks bro.’  
‘Yeah, so when they asked for volunteers for the first wave out here, I had no one to miss me no more so I signed up. Been here since the start but what are you doing here?’  
‘I won the genetic lottery.’ He threw his arms wide and grinned. ‘I mean, do you blame them for knocking on my door.’ 

Charlie snorted. ‘What he meant to say is once they worked out what to look for, they started checking the armed forces medical databases for expressions of the ATA gene. And found Dean.’  
‘If you want to get technical Charles. But yeah, with cousin Steve in the hot seat on the Daedalus they came looking for me.’  
‘I was already working at Cheyenne Mountain.’ Charlie added. ‘And McKay wanted me out here for my brain.’  
‘Hang on, Cadwell is your cousin?’  
‘I certainly don’t brag about it, he’s chairforce isn’t he. But it turns out I have expressions of the gene from both the Campbell and Winchester sides of the family so here I am.’  
‘Your brother?’  
‘Nope, thank god. Last thing I want is him out here with mutant space vamps and his long girly hair. Seems I got the good looks and all the crazy alien space genes.’  
‘Well you are pretty cher.’  
‘I’m freakin adorable.’

‘The city likes him too, you should see his bathtub.’  
‘What can I say, I’m just a likeable kind of guy.’  
‘They putting you on a gate team?’  
‘Duno, Sheppard wants me to take a puddle jumper for a spin tomorrow so who knows. I was under the impression I’m a glorified light switch with a big gun and a tool box filled with spanners.’  
‘City does need a plumber.’  
‘Shut up Super Mario, I’m a mechanic.’  
‘You’re a Marine. You are whatever they tell you you are.’  
‘Oh rah.’

\--------------

Dean followed Sheppard into the hanger.  
‘Oh cheer up Winchester, you’ll love it.’  
‘It looks like my dad’s crazy friends freaking motor home minus the wheels and aerials. Boy would he be surprised if he knew he was right.’  
‘Oh don’t listen to him.’ Sheppard crooned as he stroked the side of the ship he had named a puddle jumper half a lifetime ago.  
‘Do you want some alone time Sir.’  
‘Shut up and get in, I thought marines were supposed to listen to their CO’s’.’  
‘Marines are Navy. Sir. We have boats, really big ones.’  
‘Meh, it’s not like I’m asking you to fly a plane or a helicopter, marine. This is a genuine space ship.’  
‘You kinda got me there but I just miss my baby.’  
‘Your file didn’t say anything about kids.’

Dean laughed. ‘Oh heck no, I meant my sixty seven impala.’ He sighed. ‘She’s been rebuilt from the ground up by my two hands and is every inch a lady.’  
‘Not much call for something like that out here.’ Sheppard settled into the pilots chair. ‘Okay, so crash course time.’  
Dean winced. ‘Can we maybe not say the C word.’  
‘Crash? Embrace your fears marine.’  
‘No offense sir, but do they have anyone, you know, sane, who can teach me this?’  
‘None taken marine.’

McKay was waiting for them when Dean settled the puddle jumper down with a grin lighting up his face.  
‘That was freaking awesome.’  
‘You’d have made a fair chopper pilot marine.’  
‘Na, that’s a zoomie thing, I’m more the point me at em and go type myself.’  
‘If you two have finished flirting.’ McKay stood there tapping his foot. ‘I was promised Captain Winchester’s assistance.’  
‘Oh shucks, are you two fighting over little ole me already.’   
Sheppard stifled a laugh. ‘Go on or mom’ll only get more wound up if you keep him waiting.’  
‘I can hear you both, you know.’ McKay spun on his heal and stalked off muttering about imbeciles and how he could have made a name for himself in private employment but no. He had to save lives for the USAF for all the good it did him.

Sheppard tossed Dean a power bar. ‘If he gets low blood sugar he’s a nightmare. You’d do well to carry these at all times. Off you go.’ He shooed the younger man away.

Dean ambled into the science lab following closely behind McKay and looked around until he found Charlie gleefully surrounded by keyboards while patching several screens together.  
‘One light switch reporting for duty.’ He drawled laconically.  
McKay turned and frowned at him. ‘How did you make it to Captain?’  
‘Dumb luck Doctor McKay.’  
Charlie snorted.  
‘I doubt that, I read your file. Including the redacted bits.’ He raised a hand to wave it at Dean. ‘I am a genius with one of the highest security clearances in two galaxies you know.’  
Dean shrugged.

McKay pointed to a giant screen that took up an entire wall and made Dean whistle.  
‘You ever lit that up with world of warcraft?’  
Charlie watched the other scientists in the room and filed their reactions away for future geek bonding purposes.  
McKay shook his head. ‘We have enough real monsters to focus on.’  
‘Ah ha. So what do you want me to focus on?’  
‘Sheppard and now you have told me the city has a sentience. What is it telling you?’  
Dean chuckled. ‘Firstly, you don’t believe that and second, how can you even measure what she tells me.’  
‘Please, I’ve seen your bathroom, the city likes you even if I don’t buy into the soft sciences.’  
Dean grinned, McKay had a puzzle his genius brain couldn’t pull apart. ‘It’s like being a kid on Christmas morning and I feel warmth around me.’  
‘Ugh, forget it. Go and turn that device on instead.’ Pointing to a six inch cube on a table. He watched as the marine captain approached the device as if expecting it to blow up in his face.

Dean, having had the foresight to read as many reports from Atlantis as he could get his hands on was being cautious and not taking any chances with the fickle alien technology. ‘What I don’t get.’ He mused aloud. ‘Is if these ancients had all this knowledge and things when they ran away to Earth, why they didn’t rebuild them there.’  
‘They lacked access to the minerals and energy sources available here.’  
Dean looked for the voice and found a diminutive Japanese woman hiding behind huge glasses.  
McKay waved his hands at her. ‘Yes, yes, thank you Doctor Kusanagi.’  
Watching the way she gave a tiny bow and scuttled away from the artefact, Dean took a chance. ‘You have the ATA, don’t you.’

McKay froze. ‘Who told you that? How do you know she has the gene?’  
‘The way she walked around the cube thingy, she didn’t want to activate it.’ He looked from the box to McKay. ‘So how do I do this? Do I just think “on” at it or pick it up?’  
‘Try both Captain Winchester.’ Dr Kusanagi suggested.  
Glad his little brother couldn’t see him, Dean looked the box into submission.


	3. Bantos

Dean watched Teyla and John dance though a sparring session and found the movements inviting him in as he waited for a chance to approach the Althosian woman. He’d been told he could join her classes and wanted to arrange this as soon as possible. As if sensing his presence Teyla beckoned him closer.

‘You are interested in the bantos?’  
‘I sure am ma’am.’ Ignoring his CO’s chuckles as the air force colonel walked away.  
As if his soul was being weighed Dean found himself the subject of a head tilt and a nod. Rods were tossed to him which he caught before spinning them around to test their weight and movement.  
‘Have you used anything similar?’  
‘Not really, I mean I can improvise a weapon and I’ve trained with tactical batons but nothing like this. Is the weight standard or do they come in different sizes?’  
She shrugged. ‘Different wood will yield some variance and there is some skill to the making that not all craftsmen posses.’ She smiled. ‘If you show aptitude I can introduce you to one who can match the bantos rods to you.’

Dean’s grin had faded long before the end of his first training session with Teyla but he had kept returning for more. He chose to ignore the sniggers of several marines as he eased himself into a seat at the mess table.  
‘You still letting girls beat you up Winchester?’  
‘You’re just jealous, have you seen what half them wear when we practice with Teyla?’ He stabbed at the bright pink not quite tomato and flashed them a grin. ‘Any edge I can get out here I’ll take.’  
‘How much advantage can there be if you can barely sit down.’   
He shrugged. ‘I’ll get used to it, and some of that is from running with Ronon. The big guy is lighter on his feet than he has any good sense being.’ 

He ignored the titters of the younger marines and concentrated on his lunch. Bantos rods and running with Ronon were just the beginning and he wanted every advantage he could get when it came to the nightmares that waited for him outside of the relative safety of Atlantis. There was talk about letting him accompany a few different gate teams to give him off world experience. And they could argue all they liked but the simple physics were that a sword didn’t run out of bullets and could take a wraith’s head off. Even they didn’t come back from that. 

Charlie’s natural enthusiasm for life was undimmed as she bounced up. ‘How’d it go letting Teyla smack you with her sticks?’ She grinned as she took an empty spot at the table.  
‘Don’t knock it Red, it’s harder than it looks.’  
Cadman dropped into the chair next to Dean. ‘It’s a hell of a work out and boy has my arse gotten toned and perky.’  
‘Please don’t tease us mere mortals with thoughts of your toned and perky self Lieutenant.’ Dean sighed wistfully until she slapped his arm. He shrugged. ‘Still totally worth it.’  
Dusty Mehra slid in next to Charlie and nodded to Dean. ‘You still on for that run in the morning.’  
‘Yeah, if I can move.’ Dean looked around and gave a small sigh as Ronon Dex glided past complete with a sword strapped to his back. ‘That’s next on my list.’  
‘Ronon?’  
‘Na, well, I wouldn’t say no, but I want a sword.’  
Charlie’s eyes lit up. ‘We should totally take him and Teyla to Moondoor.’  
‘Moondoor?’ Cadman asked.

Dean grinned as he walked out of the blue pool of gate travel and touched dry ground. Looking around he saw trees that would have reminded him of home, if the leaves weren’t purple. Like so many worlds the expedition had visited, this one had a temperate climate and was similar enough to remind Dean of home. Except for the aliens. Like the group waiting for them now.  
Lorne frowned. ‘I don’t remember there being this many woman last time we were here.’  
Doctor David Parish grinned. ‘You didn’t have Captain Winchester last time. Apparently he has perky nipples.’  
‘First had experience?’  
‘Rumour and innuendo.’

Dean sauntered closer to his current temporarily assigned team mates. ‘Are they always this, ah, welcoming? Major?’  
‘Apparently they heard about your perky nipples.’  
Dean looked from the stoic zoomie to the half dozen scantily clad women and back to the major. ‘I also have pretty green eyes Sir.’  
Lorne nodded. ‘Try not to get married while we’re here.’  
‘You don’t gotta tell me twice. I didn’t send out fliers you know.’ Dean muttered as he resumed his place behind the botanist. ‘Why are we here again?’  
‘They grow a grain that is the closest to wheat that we’ve found out here, if you don’t mind purple bread. Most of the plants on this planet are purple, it’s quite fascinating.’  
‘Sure but what do we trade for it, because I’m having a few reservations about being objectified.’  
Parish grinned. ‘We help with the harvest and general farm knowledge and medical assistance.’  
‘Plus McKay built them a solar powered generator for their well.’ Lorne added.  
‘He get a statue for that?’ Dean muttered.  
Lorne raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

Like most days Dean was never quite sure which ancient Deity had decided he needed to be blessed with an interesting life. Mentally composing a letter to his mother as they made their way back to the gate. 

“Dear Mom, I hope the old man isn’t driving you up the wall again. Went to a new village today, locals real friendly. I think two of them tried to marry me.”

He sighed as he stepped though the gate and back into Atlantis. ‘Never a dull moment.’

\-----------------------------

Charlie loved watching the whoosh of the gate when it opened, it was hypnotic and she couldn’t wait to get onto a gate team. Until she did she was living vicariously though Dean’s experiences. Although it was unusual for her to be asked to be here for the gate team he was currently on as it returned. Next to her was a waiting medical team because of something Dean had been exposed to. Their relationship apparently served as some sort of medical proxy. Watching him skipping into the gate room wearing a flower crown had her snapping pictures for later blackmail purposes. Dean twirling around while singing was too good an opportunity to miss.  
‘So, who spiked the punch?’

Gretchen holding a small pouch pulled a berry out. ‘He ate these and given his reaction I suspect they have narcotic or analgesic properties. His behaviour is not unlike the time at the mountain he was given medications after teaching us to shoot. Just, with the singing.’  
Charlie walked around him. ‘He’s always been sensitive to anything stronger than advil.’  
‘The berry bushes are plentiful and this could be an incredible boon for medicinal use.’  
Sven followed, carrying a bulging bag of shrubbery. ‘I brought these back for further study and to see if we can cultivate them here.’  
Parish skidded into the room. ‘Oh my, you got some?’  
‘Of course, and we have samples of the soil.’  
His gimme hands would have been silly on anyone else. ‘Best we get them planted up then.’  
‘Hold up you lot.’ Sheppard called out. ‘Save the happy dance for after Carson’s cleared everyone and the plants and dirt have been properly scanned. Then you can play gardener.’

Charlie helped lead Dean to the infirmary, the medical team trailing along behind.  
‘I was promised pie Charles.’  
‘Yes Dean, but only after you see Dr Becket.’  
‘I’m not sick.’  
‘Then it wont take long to get your pie.’  
‘Okay.’  
She tried not to laugh at six feet of flower crown wearing marine as he skipped along the corridors of Atlantis. She didn’t succeed but if asked later she would be able to say she at least tried.

Carson looked to Gretchen. ‘How long ago did the lad eat the berries?’  
‘Three earth standard hours.’ Consulting her tablet. ‘There were no noticeable effects to begin with, until we were seated at the temple and he saw his reflection.’  
‘Aye?’  
‘I do not understand the reference but the berries had stained his lips and he exclaimed that he was a painted whore.’  
‘How many berries.’ Carson ignored the giggling Charlie in the background.  
‘Maybe a handful, I am unsure. Our guides said they were safe to eat and were freely offering them to us.’  
‘High as a kite no doubt.’  
‘I am familiar with this expression and I think, in hindsight perhaps yes.’  
‘And the rest of the gate team?’ Carson asked looking around the room.  
‘No, the rest of us did not but Dean seemed to enjoy them so he ate most of ours too. We brought samples of course.’  
‘Oh aye.’  
‘I am most excited to study these.’  
Carson raised an eyebrow at his giggling patient. ‘I doubt you will be the only one Gretchen. I just hope they aren’t addictive.’


	4. Meet the Neighbours

Sitting on a bench Major Even Lorne, Airforce, watched as Dean made a circuit around the small stone room they had been shoved into.  
‘So that was the Genii.’  
‘Yeap.’  
‘Aren’t they just a barrel of laughs. I think that arsehole cracked my tooth.’ Looking at his cut hand he grinned. ‘Although I’m pretty sure he’ll remember me.’ He found a crate and pulled it up so he could sit and assess their chances of escape. ‘Don’t suppose you have a bobby pin so I can try my luck with the lock.’  
‘Sheppard might but not me.’  
‘Funny, I like it.’ Dean turned to survey the door. ‘No visible hinges.’ He rolled his shoulders back. ‘I might be able to do something with that lock but I don’t want to ruin my blade.’ He grinned as his comment finally cracked the dry Major.  
‘What blade? They took our weapons.’ He watched as the blonde marine shrugged.  
‘I still got my boots on don’t I.’

Lorne watched as a thin blade was pulled from the heel of a boot. ‘Huh, is that standard issue?’  
‘Oh hell no, but we aint exactly covered by the Geneva convention out here.’  
‘Paranoid much.’  
‘You can joke all you want but they have a new pastry chef and I know they got a bushel of cooking apples in the last supply run so I aint missing me no pie.’  
‘You wouldn’t, trade us all in for an apple pie, would you.’  
‘Na, but I will do whatever it takes to get us home for one.’  
Lorne shrugged and leaned back. ‘Then by all means, go right ahead.’  
Dean was about to examine the lock when the door started to swing open. ‘Even I’m not that good.’ He muttered as he stepped out of the line of sight.

A pistol was extended into the room followed by a rat faced young man with a fresh bruise on his cheek who stepped into Dean’s fist.   
Lorne grabbed the gun and Dean checked for further weapons.  
‘Should I be insulted there is only one of them?’ He asked as he riffled though pockets and found the key for the door and pulled it closed. ‘I feel like I should be insulted.’  
‘Probably.’ Lorne pulled the fuming young man up by the lapels of his jacket and forced him to sit on the bench. ‘Name?’  
The Genii soldier spat a mouthful of blood at Lorne and said nothing.

‘Looks like you got him back for the tooth.’ Lorne turned to their prisoner ‘When are the rest of your friends getting here?’  
‘They are already here.’  
‘See I think he’s lying to us Major.’  
Lorne nodded. ‘He probably is. The Genii aren’t usually stupid enough to send just one soldier after us.’  
‘They will be here any minute, I was sent to get you ready.’  
‘This isn’t date night, nope, I think you were just pissed I cold cocked you in front of your boyfriend when you arseholes pulled guns on us outside the town.’ Dean moved to the door. ‘I say we lock him in and blow this popsicle stand.’  
‘We need to find our weapons but I don’t disagree with you.’  
‘His boss gonna be happy at us getting away like this?’  
‘Not in the least.’  
‘Cool.’ Dean shut the door and locked it, pocketing the keys. ‘Lets get our crap and get out of here before the rescue party gets here or we will never hear the end of it.’  
‘Again, I do not disagree with you.’

\-------------

‘Let me get this straight.’ Sheppard looked up from the report on the tablet in front of him, since it was his second in command giving it to him he couldn’t exactly leave it for Lorne to sign off himself. There was an etiquette to these things. ‘Your team got ambushed just outside the town on planet.’ He looked down at the tablet. ‘Fugly Tree Town.’ He sighed. ‘Winchester isn’t allowed to name anything, ever. Then you and Winchester managed to get yourselves taken to let the rest of your gate team get back here to raise the alarm.’  
‘Yes, I do recall that happening. Winchester was quite insistent that his friend Charlie get back to the gate and away from the Genii.’

‘And the guy keeps a stiletto blade in his boots, Ronon is going to be so jealous. And was going to try and pick the lock so he could get home for pie before we had to rescue the two of you.’  
‘I believe that does about sum it up, sir.’  
‘Cut the crap with the sir will you and how the hell did you guys get captured by the Genii?’  
‘We certainly weren’t expecting them but I think it was a total fluke. They were not a well trained unit which is why we managed to get the others away in the first place. But it could also be that Winchester is a scrappy SOB and it took most of them just to subdue him. Even Charlie put up enough of a fight to get away.’

‘They have been sparing with Teyla and Ronon and keep talking about something called a moon door and fighting for that, whatever that is.’  
Lorne laughed. ‘Moondoor is a cross between a Ren Fair and a giant live knights of the round table role play war campaign, with elves.’  
‘And you would know this how?’  
‘I grew up in a hippy commune in San Francisco filled with artists, including some outstanding seamstresses and stuff like cos play and Ren Fairs are big earners for some of them.’  
Sheppard tilted his head and gave a little huh. ‘Well I did not know that.’  
‘I have many secrets sir.’  
‘Oh shut up and go away before I make more paperwork up for you to do.’ 

He set the tablet down and rubbed his hand over his face. ‘We need to track the Genii so we aren’t surprised again. These guys like to smack us around and ask their stupid questions after they torture us a bit first.’  
‘I have vague memories of them faking my death.’  
‘Yeah, I’m just glad we figured it out before we tried to send someone in a uniform to your hippy commune to make the death notification.’ He sighed. ‘I’ll talk to Teyla and find out who we need to get onto this. We need better intel, these guys aren’t finished yanking our chains and we know they like to hold a grudge.’  
‘Winchester’s gone and put a target on his back hasn’t he.’  
‘I suspect he may have done but we can’t ground him for it. And he seems popular with the locals.’  
‘McKay thinks he even out Kirk’s you.’  
‘I have heard this theory.’

Both men looked up as Dean slid into the room geared up and angry.  
‘Those bastards have Charlie.’  
‘What?’ Shepard rose to his feet.  
‘She isn’t here, she didn’t come back though the gate with Mathews. Grabbing us must have been a diversion if they grabbed my scientist.’  
‘You are sure she isn’t holed up in a lab?’ Lorne asked, a bad feeling settling over just how easy it had been to get away from their captors.  
‘I have been looking for her since I got out of Carson’s clutches and she is not on Atlantis.’  
‘I do not like this Winchester.’  
Dean resisted a snarky comment and just nodded. 

Sheppard was reaching for his radio to summon Rodney when the scientist breezed into the room.  
‘Ah, excellent, you’re all already here.’ He put his tablet on the desk and gave a smug grin. ‘I know where my missing computer geek is.’ He paused. ‘Probably.’  
Sheppard picked the tablet up. ‘This is her tracker but they will have pulled that out by now.’  
‘I know.’ Rodney agreed. ‘Those toy soldiers in their cold war cos play outfits will have pulled that out and bounced around a number of gate addresses by now.’ 

He held a hand up. ‘Which is why I have had Ms Bradbury-Singer working with Carson to code a tracker that binds with the person’s DNA and can not be detected by those science camp militia idiots.’  
‘Please tell me Charlie has this binded tracker thingy in her DNA, McKay.’ Dean growled.  
‘As if I was going to let any of my valuable scientists leave Atlantis without one, the way they get themselves lost out there.’ McKay scoffed. ‘And that is the planet she is on.’ He pointed to a gate address. ‘Although we were only there recently and the place was fairly empty.’

Sheppard looked at Lorne who nodded. ‘Alright, McKay do you need to come with us or can you upload the tracker for this onto anyone’s tablet?’  
Trying not to look too insulted Rodney glared at him. ‘I already have.’  
Tapping his radio Sheppard nodded. ‘Yeah, Ronon, I need you armed for a hunt, the Genii have Bradbury and I want her back.’

\---------------------

Dean and Ronon moved though the undergrowth following the Genii trail, hoping they were in time to rescue Charlie. Reaching the hatch to what was supposed to be an abandoned underground complex they quietly and efficiently dispatched the guards. The stunned men were bound, gagged and stashed in the undergrowth. Woosley had been quite insistent they subdue with minimum loss of life. Dean was less optimistic about any long term plans of peaceful cooperation with the Genii but kept that to himself. The reports he had read of previous interactions left him less inclined towards gentleness and the fact they had Charlie wasn’t helping.

The life signs detector guided them through the underground warren. Subdued or dead Genii their breadcrumbs home with anyone who tired to kill them fair game. Woosley would get over it. And when they got back to Atlantis Dean had a little chat planned for Charlie about staying on Atlantis rather than volunteering for gate teams.

Charlie picked the cable up and looked at her captor with a frown. ‘What exactly do you think I can do with this? Make jewellery?’  
‘You are the computer expert.’  
‘I’m not a miracle worker. You don’t give someone a cup of water and expect them to turn it into rum.’ She tossed the cable back onto the work bench and shook her head. ‘What you idiots think I can do here beyond arts and crafts is a mystery to me.’ Arms folded she radiated fury. ‘And that’s hardly a computer.’

He stepped up to use his height to intimidate and she sighed softly.  
‘Don’t waste your time, my cousins are bigger than you and they can’t intimidate me either.’  
A gun was raised and pointed at her.  
‘Oh yeah, now I’m both terrified and oddly compelled to do your bidding my new evil overlord. Idiots. I have been captured by idiots.’  
A second man slouching in the corner barked a laugh. ‘You should have gotten me McKay.’  
‘They seem fairly interchangeable so far.’

Charlie rolled her eyes and moved to the pile of papers next to the collection of computer tat and tried to work out what the Genii had been working on. ‘This doesn’t even have punctuation. Would it kill people to invent grammar.’ She muttered. Looking up as the slouching man moved closer. ‘What were you even trying to do here?’  
‘Build a scanner for the wraith.’  
‘Not going to happen.’  
‘You will do as you are told and stop trying my patience.’  
She pointed to the pile of bits on the table. ‘That is just a pile of junk to me. I am not McKay and I can’t Macgyver up a solution with duct tape and my shoelaces. You might as well ask me to turn invisible because that is more believable than my being able to turn that pile of junk into anything like you want.’  
A gun cocked. ‘Then you really are of no use to us.’  
Charlie shrugged and hoped she’d be forgiven.

She watched as blood blossomed on the man’s forehead, eyes wide as he folded in on himself. Her other captor spun around, his fear oozing into the room.  
‘Who did that?’  
The door flung open and a voice called out. 

‘Lucy, I’m home.’ Followed by a P90 and Dean Winchester who kicked the dead man away. ‘And you got some ‘splaing to do.’ He directed to Charlie as he gave her a quick once over before turning his attention to the man trying to edge away. He grinned as he recognised the squirrally looking man he’d already encountered.   
‘Hello chuckles. I don’t suppose you remember what I said last time we danced.’  
‘I recall a threat to kill me.’ He spread his arms wide. ‘Don’t let me stop you.’  
With a shrug and a nod Dean pulled the trigger and a second surprised dead man slumped to the floor.  
‘I don’t think he expected that.’ Dean muttered before turning to Charlie. ‘You young lady are in trouble. If I loose my pie privileges because of you I’m going to be very unhappy.’

Charlie grinned. ‘Relax handmaiden, I’m still alive.’  
‘Only until Karen and Bobby find out.’  
‘Yeah.’ She conceded. ‘It is possible I was pretty close to gone this time.’ She scooped up the notes on the desk and gave him a peck on the cheek. ‘Come on.’  
‘Pretty close to gone. Oh no you don’t young lady. And what did you think you were doing getting captured like that. You were given an order to get back to base not get captured.’

Ronon shook his head as he watched their bickering. It was a relationship Sheppard had tried to explain to him but he wasn’t convinced they weren’t just insane. It made more sense. 

\--------------

McKay gave up correcting the bad science in the notes Charlie had appropriated. ‘My six year old niece is smarter than these morons. Hell, half the marines out there know better.’  
Charlie shrugged. ‘But could we make something that would work?’  
‘In theory if we could isolate a signal or energy signature unique to the wraith or their hive ships we could develop a targeted scanner beyond what we already have. But they all operate separately to each other and the hives are based on organic technology so while we can scan for them in the immediate area a long range option doesn’t exist yet.’  
‘I must be able to isolate something we can use to scan for.’  
‘You are welcome to try.’  
She gave a Vulcan live long and prosper salute and turned to her computer to search the databases.

‘Although.’ McKay pondered out loud. ‘There is the programme we came up with to track runners.’  
‘So if I reverse the polarities and cross the streams that could work?’  
McKay shook his head. ‘Some days you need subtitles.’ He leaned across her work station to access the files. ‘See what you can make of that but get the rest of your work done too. Now, I need coffee and a muffin or something.’  
Charlie watched him stalk off in a cloud of muttered not-muffins and turned back to the files he had accessed for her. ‘You know.’ Speaking to herself. ‘I reckon I could actually make this work.’


	5. A team of his own

There are some things no amount of training can prepare you for. At eighteen joining the Marine Corps made sense. It was something most generations of Winchesters have been doing since 1775. Even turning up at Paris Island on a pitch black night with no moon visible was not unexpected. And not unlike a camping trip with his father and his old marine buddies. It had helped that he already knew how to shoot a rifle and if anything, there was less yelling. The language was cleaner.

Twelve weeks of being yelled at, drilling and parading and shooting whatever gun they handed him, that was a known thing. Even learning to avoid the bombs carried by children was a known quality. But space vampires. That was a little harder to rationalise.

He had watched the videos of the base CO being fed on, even where he was turned into a bug but none of that really mattered the first time he stood in a ruined temple protecting the scientist De Jour from the advancing goth vampire metal band reject before him.   
He shook his head. ‘Damn this fuckers an ugly fuck.’  
Over the comms he heard a snort. ‘You’d know Winchester.’  
‘Hell no, not when you are as pretty as I am.’ He looked around. ‘What’s your ETA Santiago?’  
‘I’m still on the other side of the hill.’  
He calculated the length of time it would take the rest of his squad to join them and cursed. ‘Doc, not to add any pressure or anything, but can you type faster, it’s about to get a little crazy around here.’   
‘Not unless you want me to blow us up.’ She pulled a pencil out and scribbled in her notebook.   
‘Yeah, we’ll save that one for like, plan G.’  
‘G? Winchester can you lot even count that high.’  
‘You type, I shoot yeah Doc.’ He grinned as typing started again. ‘And it’s time to start shooting.’

Dean sized up the approaching figure in it’s long black coat as he pulled the trigger. ‘Are these things supposed to regenerate that quickly?’  
‘How would I know, I don’t leave the city but if they have fed recently they’ll regenerate faster.’  
‘Thanks Doc.’  
‘Yeah well I still need a couple more minutes and would rather not be eaten so get to it soldier and do your soldiery thing.’  
‘Everyone’s a critic.’ He muttered as he contemplated a grenade.  
‘Structural integrity's not determined yet Captain.’  
‘Oh so you do know my rank Doc.’  
‘I can recognise patches on a uniform, not all of us are as bad as McKay. Now concentrate on saving my arse will you.’ She scanned the screen before her. ‘You aren’t the only one who is too pretty to die today.’

The wraith was closer now and tilted it’s head slightly, hissing at them, the voice a growl.   
‘Food you waste your time.’  
‘Nope, just trying to waste yours bug boy.’ Firing the P90 at the advancing wraith.  
‘I will feast on you and leave you alive long enough to stop being pretty.’   
Dean watched as the distance closed and a feeding hand was reaching towards him. ‘Oh I don’t think so.’ He pulled a machete out and drove the blade down through the wraith’s wrist. 

They both looked at the hand now wriggling on the ground before Dean grinned and swung the blade around to sever the head. ‘I have got to get a sword.’ He kicked the head away from the body, just in case. ‘How you doing there Doc?’ Stabbing the wriggling hand for good measure.  
She looked up over the edge of the ancient console. ‘Was that plan B or F?’  
He shrugged. ‘I don’t like to limit myself with labels Doc.’  
She laughed. ‘I think, after that you can call me Tania.’ Unplugging the tablet from the console she stood and brushed her pants off as three marines came running around the corner.  
‘Shall we get the hell out of here then gentlemen.’  
‘Question. Where did he come from? I never heard a dart or the gate open.’  
‘We found a crashed dart.’ Santiago looked a little green at the hand that was still twitching. ‘He can’t have been here long if he was still hard to kill.’   
‘Are they ever easy to kill?’  
‘Not really but congratulations on your first one Sir.’  
‘Ah shut up Private. If you ladies are ready I want to get home before Ronan eats all the pie.’

\--------------------

John put the report down and looked at his second in command and gave in to the urge to run a hand though his hair. ‘I thought we had an understanding Lorne.’  
‘Colonel?’  
‘Oh don’t try to look innocent, I’ve seen you on Zelenka’s rot gut, that ship has well sailed.’ He waved his tablet. ‘Winchester’s isn’t supposed to be writing reports without supervision.’  
‘I supervised him, Sir.’  
‘Did you.’  
‘I was in the room.’

John sighed. ‘We’ve had this conversation before Lorne, or do I need to remind you about the hell hounds incident.’  
‘I thought it was an apt description Sir, they had very large teeth and were nearly impossible to see. And his grammar has improved.’  
‘Yes, thank you, we all benefit from that. But what I want to know.’ He sighed. ‘Is why no one else thought of cutting the feeding hand off.’  
‘It is rather obvious now that you think about it.’  
‘I mean, sure, kill them before they get close enough but now it looks like we need swords. Do we even have a requisition form for that?’

O’Neill spat coffee on is desk. ‘Davis!’  
‘Sir.’ Handing him a pile of napkins. ‘I see you found Colonel Sheppard’s requisition forms, Sir.’  
‘Swords.’  
‘I believe so, Sir.’  
‘Swords and a blacksmith.’  
‘With anvil, Sir.’  
‘With an anvil, of course. Just a question, Davis.’  
‘Sir?’  
‘How strong is the moonshine out there.’  
‘I can ask them to send us some so we can check if you like, Sir.’  
‘Oh don’t bother. Does it say here why they want swords? Skip me to the highlights and pretend I didn’t read the report that came with the rest of the data burst.’  
‘Apparently you don’t need to reload them and the wraith don’t regenerate if they have had their head cut off.’  
‘Oh.’ He nodded. ‘Well okay dokey then. Do you know a blacksmith?’  
‘I believe Bradbury and Winchester had a few names, Sir.’  
‘I see.’ He picked up a printed page titled, Bat shit crazy people I know by Dean Winchester. ‘How appropriate.’  
‘Yes Sir, I have the background checks running currently Sir, and will there be anything else?’  
Jack shook his head. ‘I hope not.’ He watched the ever efficient Major Davies nod and leave the room and wondered if it was too soon to retire again. Winchester was supposed to be driving them crazy not him.

\------------------------

Dean held a closed fist up, stopping his team. ‘Yo, Rodgiguez.’  
‘Captain?’  
Talking softly while looking around he frowned. ‘How many times we been here?’  
‘Maybe half a dozen.’  
‘And how many times we get this far from the gate without a welcoming party of kids.’  
‘After the first time, none.’  
‘Yeah, that’s what I thought.’  
‘Captain?’  
Dean clicked his comms. ‘Wilson, Jones. Report.’  
The voice came back grainy. 

‘Nothing to report.’  
‘Keep an eye open, some thing isn’t right.’  
‘Are we dialling Atlantis?’  
‘No, don’t have enough information and I don’t want to spook anyone or I’ll never hear the end of it if I’m wrong, just, stay awake. We’ll check back in ten.’  
‘Yes Sir.’

Looking around Dean couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong, this close they should be able to smell cooking fires. They rounded the corner to what should have been a busy village. There should have been a gang of maybe a dozen children under the age of ten underfoot of mothers and their older siblings. There should have been buildings each with a roof and walls.

Instead, Dean saw a village lost under piles of rubble. Clicking his comms his voice gave no indication of his feelings. ‘Time to phone home Jones. We need search and rescue and someone to tell me what the hell flattened an entire village.’  
‘Flattened Sir?’  
‘Yeah, like a squished bug Jones.’ Surveying the scene before him he saw a leg sticking out from a pile of rubble. ‘We also need a medical team but no one squeamish.’  
He signalled Rodregez and Pips to start looking for survivors. ‘I want you all filming everything, it might come in useful for figuring out what the hell did this.’ 

Dean pulled the night vision goggles out Charlie had been tinkering with and put them on. ‘This was not how I planned to test these.’ He muttered to himself as he set them to infra vision and looked around for heat signatures. Hitting record for Charlie so she had the data to examine later. They were supposed to be helping with the harvest and instead he was faced with search and rescue. He had, as a marine, been deployed to natural disasters before but this time he had no idea of what they were walking into. ‘Alright kids, we have no idea what did this, if it was a natural disaster or just another Pegasus fuck you so stick together and look for clues.’  
‘It could be seismic Captain.’  
‘You moonlighting as a geologist or something Pips?’  
‘No Sir, I am a marine.’  
‘Cause way I hear it, you been spending a lot of time in the geology labs.’  
‘No offense Sir, I know you are pretty and all, but some of them geologists are women, Sir.’  
Dean nodded and clicked his comms back on. ‘Jones, get them to include a geologist.’  
‘Yes Captain.’  
‘Look lively lads, we’ve got a heat signature so lets go see if we can help anyone while we wait for back up.’

Bodies where laid out like cords of wood, tallied and ready for autopsy if needed. Dean watched marines and scientists bustle around like ants. This never got easier.  
‘We need CSI and search and rescue dogs.’ He said to no one in particular, looking around he spotted Major Lorne and headed towards the senior officer. ‘Major, have we ever found anything canine other than those hell hound things, this side of the Milky Way?’  
‘Winchester.’ He shook his head. ‘Dogs would make searches easier but no.’  
‘Can we get some.’  
‘I’ll add it to the list.’  
Dean turned to one of his men, recognising Jones. ‘Wasn’t a hard no.’  
‘No Sir, but Doctor McKay wants you over by the caves we found.’  
‘How.’ Lorne asked pulling a notebook out. ‘Exactly did he put that, Private Jones?’  
‘Ah Sir?’ The private looked to his Captain as Dean waved a hand.  
‘The Major keeps a record, I think he’s secretly working on a biography or something.’  
‘Very good Sir. Doctor McKay said.’ He paused. ‘Get me the fire fighter calender model with the gene.’ This time he sighed. ‘I need to be turned on.’

Dean nodded with a matching sigh and pink ears. ‘Thank you Jones. If anyone asks, he.’ Pointing to Lorne. ‘Does outrank us.’  
‘Yes Sir.’  
Dean looked at his team mate and frowned. ‘You taken five yet soldier?’  
‘No Sir.’  
‘Find some water and something to eat and you will sit down for at least ten minutes. You wont do if you fall over on us and I aint dragging you back to base cos you fainted.’  
Lorne pocketed his note book and filled the interaction away for his report to Sheppard, Winchester was a natural leader. He also suspected the SGC was going to have to design a new medal for the handsome young captain.

Doctor M Rodney McKay was flapping about like a chicken. ‘Ah, there you are.’  
‘Doctor McKay, Captain Winchester reporting as requested.’ Having quickly learned the importance of reminding the erasable Canadian of his name lease the latest one stuck.  
‘Yes, yes, see that panel over there.’  
He followed the flailing. ‘Ah ha.’  
‘Go, do your thing and rub it or something.’  
‘This was not in the brochure.’ He muttered as he began looking for panels. ‘Would it have really dented their ancient pride to leave their toys off with instructions.’  
McKay snorted. ‘You’ve been here long enough to know the answer to that.’  
Shaking his head, Dean found a screen and hit record on his body cam as he began translating the ancient language. Having secretly enjoyed Latin in school he had a natural aptitude for Ancient that had been discovered due to the amount of time he’d spent playing light switch when first arriving in the city. Much to the delight of the science team.

The Ancient Outpost they had found hidden in the caves was determined to have been studying the planets seismic activity and had recorded the event that had decimated the village. Not a case of toys left carelessly on but a natural disaster. Cold comfort to the one hundred and twenty people now lost to a random shifting of tectonic plates. Or the two dozen survivors now folded into the growing community of refugees on new Altos. Even Doctor McKay wasn’t able to celebrate the finding of the ZPM they retrieved with it’s charge sitting at almost half full.

Dean stood in the centre of what had been one of his preferred planets to visit and straightened his shoulders before lifting the last sack of salvaged seed to his shoulder and walking away. Teyla assured him others would settle here, perhaps even the descendants of the survivors would return. It was the nature of Pegasus and theirs was a resilience he suspected his home planet had long lost. The people of Pegasus were forged in adversity he had never been able to imagine and it showed in how they bounced back from each disaster with laughter and love. And he was going to do his damned best to help.


	6. Pass the Salsa

Dean slid the bottle of bourbon to Benny. ‘I did not enlist in the United States Marine Corps to be a kindergarten teacher man.’  
‘Oh cher, tell brother Benny all your troubles.’  
‘Arsehole. You are lucky I like you man.’ Dean sighed. ‘Maybe I’m just getting old. Have you seen the new kids they sent us. I swear one of them has an honest to god sock puppet.’  
Benny set his cup down. ‘Come again?’  
‘Yeap. It’s Mr Frizzles and I apparently hurt his feelings.’ He shook his head. ‘I’ve got socks of my own older than half these kids and one of them actually asked me to apologise to a sock puppet.’  
‘Did you?’  
‘Oh hell no.’ With a shake of his head Dean reached for the corn chips. ‘There was a time being a Marine meant something.’  
‘Muscles are required intelligence not expected, cher.’   
‘Yeah, now it’s just Uncle Sam’s misguided children and the upper ranks think I can help keep the kids table alive out here.’  
‘You got us the swords and that is actually helping.’  
He shrugged. ‘Cut off the hand and it can’t eat you.’  
‘And yet none of us figured that out.’  
‘I’m the full package, what can I say. Pass the damn salsa.’


End file.
